Cosmo Solstice Clark was born at 11:47 pm, the night of June 21st. He just needed to wait until the longest day of the year to join our family.
I had been having very strong birth sensations for weeks, but after cancelling some events and commitments in the first week of June, I figured I had best just carry on. Even so, on Saturday, I felt especially “birthy”, but unfortunately we weren’t able to find anyone who could work at our little shop at the Boyce farmer’s market (where we sell our hand-made pottery, photographs and beeswax candles). Although I love to work the market, I simply wasn’t up for it, so Lee set out early in the morning, while I slept in with the kids. I did have a bunch of chores to do in Fredericton, so once Horus, Treva and Felix woke up, we set out too. We had a lovely time at the market, getting groceries and enjoying the outdoor vendors and the warm weather. It was so nice to see Leslie, Lisa, the duck guy, and our other market friends and I didn’t mind at all, the chat about Where is that baby?, it was just comforting and sweet. We visited with Lee at our booth and gave him some help (ha) and then I took the kids to the park. Lee met us there, and went home with Horus and Felix, and Treva and I puttered around town, picking up some more supplies as well as some renovation items we still needed. Then Treva and I went out for dinner just the two of us, and we had such a special time, mother and daughter.
I had several strong sensations in the car on the way home, and I called Lee to ask him to be ready to unload my car when we got back, because I thought maybe the birth would be that night. But when we arrived home, everything stopped, and I figured this would be another restless night.
About 10 minutes after the kids finally fell asleep, I felt a little kick, and then my waters released with a splash. I was so relieved, I burst into tears, and I knew that this was it, and that our baby would be coming very soon. I immediately called Lee and went upstairs to the birth room—the white loft-space that will soon be my office, writing room, and homeschooling place.
And despite my plans to have a solo birth, I also called my friend Katie, who had also been at Felix’s birth. Both Katie and Lee understood my explicit instructions not to intrude on my birth space, or to talk, touch or have anything to do with me. I really just wanted them to deal with the cameras, and make sure that everything was running smoothly in that arena.
But when Katie arrived with her gorgeous daughter Ocean (who is about 6 months old), I was feeling chatty and silly, still in the beginning stages of the birth process. I think because I had felt like we had been waiting for so long for this baby to arrive, I was also feeling anxious, in an animal sort of way, pacing and growly.
Quickly, the sensations became roaring, impenetrable waves, and I was screaming and crying and begging for help, and I am so glad and grateful that Katie and Lee let me have my space, and then I was praying and begging and bargaining, and *dying*, and then finding some brave centre somewhere, and suddenly the head was there, and then out, and I hollered “Yes, catch!” and Lee was there, and I couldn’t wait, and I couldn’t be slow, I just roared the baby out. Lee said nothing, but I heard the cry before I turned around to hold my child, my boy, my new beautiful perfect son.
We had wanted Horus, Treva and Felix to be there, but somehow the little one just came so fast (two hours from when my waters released), that no one had the wherewithal to go and wake them up in time, but as soon as baby emerged, Lee went and got the others, and all three of the little ones were just as ecstatic as we were, with kisses and hugs, and pure love.
Then I felt shocky and awful, and I started to shake and weep, so we moved to our bedroom where the placenta fell out perfectly in one of our cooking pots, and we cuddled our tiny little sweetheart, all together.
Horus said some very special ceremonial words, and then he and Treva held the beeswax candles to both sides of the cord and the wax dripped into the beautiful pine box I had made for this occasion. It took about 15 minutes for the cord to cauterize and sever, which was long enough for me to say goodbye to the wondrous placenta that had nourished my child, attached, and I tied up the loose end of his cord in a couple of knots close to his belly.
I think this birth was in some ways my hardest, scariest, wildest. I love the way it went, and I love that the space I had requested was held, and respected. But somehow despite the intensity of his arrival, Cosmo has an aura of blissful calm and gentleness about him. He has landed in a gaggle of happy energy, but his three special protectors couldn’t be more devoted: I asked Horus to hold him while I went to the bathroom on his first morning on earth, and Horus cradled him with the utmost adoration, and whispered “I’ve got you little guy, here I am, your big brother Horus. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, I’m gonna take care of you for always”.
Cosmo means “Peace, Order & Beauty”. And Solstice; well, we just couldn’t resist. It’s a special soul that picks midsummer to land in this crazy world. I’m just so grateful for this magical baby, for Horus, Treva and Felix, for my friends and supporters, my birth attendant Katie, and Lee, who hangs in there and tolerates my everything with quite a lot of patience and understanding, I must say. I asked Lee to say something about Cosmo’s birth, so here it is: “Splendid”.
Welcome, Cosmo Solstice Clark. We love you.