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Lady:  Oh my goodness!  Look at your tiny baby!  How old is he?  A week? Two weeks old?

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Me: Nope–he’s almost three months now!

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Lady:  No.  No!!!  He is SOOOOooo tiny!!  He must have been a preemie!

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Me: Nope–he weighed 8.2 when he was born.

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Lady (face ashen):  Oh my GOD.  Oh.  Wow.  But–have you weighed him lately?

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Me:  Nope.  No clue what he weighs.

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Lady: But he’s so *little*!!!

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Me:  Yup, he’s a little guy!

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Lady:  This must be your first.

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Me: Nope, my sixth!

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Lady: Oh. My. God.  You must like kids.  Six!!!!!  That is CRAZY!

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Me: Yup.  Guess so!

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This is, pretty much word-for-word, the conversation that I had last night at the grocery store with a lovely stranger.  And quite literally, I have had this conversation, if not millions, then *hundreds* of times.  With Cosmo, over the past couple of months, and also when Treva was a baby–she was also a skinny little sweetheart.  Picture me smiling throughout–and it’s genuine.

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The photos above, are actually a couple of months old–I’ve been remiss with the pictures, and I really haven’t taken very many lately at all, but I wanted to post these, because I love them so much–especially the one of Cosmo looking very spotty during his brief bout of newborn acne.  I was going to call this post “brothers”, because of the sweetness of the images of sibling love, but I can’t help but talk about The Conversation.

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I think there are many mums with small babies who have probably experienced the same kind of exchange.  For the record, at this point in my parenting journey, it doesn’t bother me at all that perfect strangers are bothered by the size of my little one.  Cosmo is brilliant, bright, gorgeous, happy and thriving.  And he’s really scrawny!  It’s ok.  I don’t have any insecurities in this area.  But if I were a first-time mother, I know I would–and did–feel differently.

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I also want to state, for the record, that I *love* it when strangers come up to me and ask me about my baby, or peek into the carrier where Cosmo is snuggled in.  I know some mothers prefer to have more personal space, and that is entirely valid (and while I am irresistibly drawn to others’ babies, I try to be sensitive to the cues that I get from other mums when I approach).  Wearing my baby allows me to interact with admirers, while keeping Cosmo close, so please, if you see me out and about with Cosmo, come and say hi!  But for the sake of the tender new mums out there, here is some advice:

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The only thing that is necessary to say to a mother, about her new baby is,

“What a beautiful baby!”

“What a sweetheart!”

“What a sweet little one you have!”

“What a cutie!”

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Not all babies are chubby, not all babies are round, not all babies are big.  But I do believe that all babies are beautiful, sweet, and cute–in their own special way.  No need to comment on the size of someone else’s baby.  In fact, I feel strongly that our obsession with size and weight begins before birth even, with the way we guess and assess the size of pregnant mothers, and the many comments that mothers are subjected to, which is really just another facet of the widespread objectification of women’s bodies.

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If you run into me and Cosmo out on the town, and you happen to mention how little he is, no problem! But yeah–he’s little.  And he’s perfect.

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