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From my diary:

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I love reading this. I know that for the rest of my life, I will be parsing the births of each of  my children.  It is so fascinating to me that the “animal clarity” that I felt immediately after this birth, and the connectedness I experienced with my surroundings, and my own perceptions, is almost a perfect model of the kind of hormonal interplay that Dr. Sarah Buckley talks about when she discusses the chemical blueprint of optimal birth.  Every mother could have access to the incredible transparency and brightness that occurs immediately after birth when the genius prototype for spontaneous childbirth is maintained.  And I want this experience to be available to every mother and baby, not only because it is wonderful, and ecstatic and euphoric, but because those feelings of happiness and ecstasy are actually symptomatic of the laying down of a foundation of developmental health for both mother and child.

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(This is where I think the so-called feminist argument for medicated birth breaks down.  To be clear, I am fully in support of the right of every mother to choose all of the circumstances of her birth.  I am also passionate about the right that mothers have to receive the full scope of information about the side effects and the possible results of interventions, medications and adulterations of the birth process.  So few women are offered a full picture from institutional birth-workers.)

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Sadly, I have not created optimal circumstances for all my own births.  While all of my births have certainly been free of medical intervention, they have not always been absent of interferences.  Cosmo’s birth was difficult, and in many ways traumatic.  (I’ll be discussing this more, upcoming).  This was really due to my own foolishness in neglecting to ensure ideal circumstances.

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The first few moments after birth are sacrosanct.  I try to be really clear with the amazing women and families that I work with as a birth consultant, in explaining to them the importance of these moments.  First, darkness and quiet signals to the limbic system to take over, and allows for the full flow of oxytocin, the hormone of love and connection.  Ideally, immediately after the baby is born, everyone is quiet.  No one touches the baby except the mother.  Without distractions, the mother is exquisitely attuned to her baby, and in a way, to her surroundings, while maintaining a focus on the child. Ideally, the mother either stays where she has birthed, or is gently helped to her bed after the initial emergence, and the baby never leaves her chest, her breast, her heart.  There is no need to hurry nursing, or to clean the baby.  In fact, leaving both mother and baby covered in the birth liquor, vernix and amniotic fluid, can accrue to both of them an increased ability to bond, to nurse well, and allows the full colonization of beneficial bacteria to the baby.  Ideally, the mother will forego a shower for at least 8 hours (the mother’s skin can be cleaned using warm cloths in the interim).  This ensures that she is never away from her baby—skin-to-skin—for those first few sacred and all-important hours. This helps to protect the mother from the possibility of haemorrhage, and from the risk of fainting or passing out.  Ideally, no one reaches for their cellphone, no calls are made, no lights are turned on, at least until the placenta has detached.  Anyone present at a birth, should understand that they are witnessing a reality that supersedes them, and that in the world of the birth of this mother, this child, this new family, they, as attendants, or helpers, do not actually exist.  Increasingly I am coming to understand that my role at a birth is to do as little as possible.  Every time, I learn more ways of serving while doing less.

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I love how Carla Hartley talks about the journey of pregnancy as one of yearning.  At the time of birth, both mother and baby are yearning for each other, and their first meeting is one of the most sacred, tender, private moments of a lifetime.  Those minutes cannot be regained or recreated.

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I dream about this notion being incorporated into the institutional model.  Imagine the ways that would transform our world.