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I am often asked by new parents what equipment they will need for baby, and I recently received another message from a beautiful couple expecting their first child, who are faced with an impending baby shower!  Showers and blessing-ways are wonderful for celebrating the impending arrival of baby, and can also be a great way for friends and family to contribute materially to the parenting journey.  However, I really do find that in our culture, we tend to miss out on the fact that…babies hardly require any gadgets at all, and that spending money on outfitting ourselves for an infant is absolutely a choice, and not a necessity.  So often, baby-showers involve the purchase (at great expense) of large and perhaps-unnecessary plastic objects, when with a little creativity, parents could come up with a registry or a list of things that might be more practical, aesthetic, and sustainable, than the usual suspects.  In addition to my own personal list, below, of essential and/or desirable baby stuff, some other lovely ideas for baby shower gifts might be: a session with a photographer, trees or plants for the garden (to commemorate the birth?), artwork from a favourite artist, a quilt made from sentimental fabrics, etc.
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In truth, babies need nothing, for happiness and safety, except nourishment from their mother’s breasts, to be carried through the day, and to sleep next to their mothers at night.  There is nothing wrong with acquiring the latest stuff, but I do think that it is helpful to recognize that really, no equipment is necessary, and that in many cases, the paraphernalia can be distracting and even inhibiting to a holistic approach to, and enjoyment of, the parenting journey. All of this is so personal, and I really want to emphasize that I don’t disparage parents for their use of any of the following gadgets and gizmos.  I’ll just outline here what has worked for me, after a batch of kids (I’m pregnant with my 6th).
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In a nutshell, I strongly believe from my own experience, that we, like other mammals, come fully equipped as is, to care for our children.  Sure, we have come a long way from our troglodyte ancestors.  Clothing is a good idea, especially if you live in a cold climate.  A roof over our heads is also a huge bonus!  But other than that, a mother who is well-nourished herself, can, miraculously, feed her baby exclusively from her body for at least 6 months!  No widgets required.
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I explored this topic a little bit in a recent post on the RIE parenting approach HERE, but in any case, here is a list of items that I have genuinely never found helpful, never felt the need for, or found disruptive to my parenting approach:
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Things You May Not Need for Your Baby
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Crib or Bassinette:  I have never owned a crib or a bassinet.  I have co-slept with all of my babies, and I really can’t imagine having my babies sleep away from me in a cage-like contraption.  I am a mammal, and my babies have to nurse from my breasts!  It just makes sense to have them sleep next to me like all other mammals do—sleep has always been extremely simple for me and my babies: we lie down, and go to sleep.  When baby is hungry, she nurses.  There was a bit of a  learning curve with my first baby (to all new mothers—get your birth attendant to help you teach yourself and your baby to nurse lying down, that first night!  Number one most important skill to learn! 🙂  Apart from what I believe is essentially a biological directive for mothers to sleep skin-to-skin with their babies, I am also very wary of the nasty plastics, phthalates and formaldehydes that are present in almost all mainstream furniture and mattress products.  Cribs and crib-mattresses made out of 100% natural materials are incredibly expensive, but if you absolutely feel that you need for your baby to sleep separately from you, I would look into these options.
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Bottles: I have never owned a baby bottle.  I breast-feed my babies exclusively, and I have never felt the desire to be away from my babies during their first 6 months.  Infants are imminently portable!  My newborns have accompanied me to university classes, to art openings, to births, to the pottery studio, to wood-firings, to the grocery store, and everything in-between.  I nurse my children everywhere I go, and I have done so without hesitation or shame since my first baby was born when I was 20 years old.  Breastfeeding publicly is not a political act for me—nor would I ever consider “hiding” when I nourish my baby, or being “discrete” for someone else’s supposed benefit.  I am, simply, a mother.  By the time my children reach about 6 months, they have usually started to taste food, and drink a little bit of water from a cup, and because my husband is a very involved father, our kids at this age, are entirely comfortable hanging out with dad for an hour or two, and then in a few months a bit longer, and then before we know it, they’re running around with the rest of the crew.  That first year really does go so fast.
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Pacifiers:  I’ll just come right out and say it: I hate pacifiers!  I don’t hate the parents who use them, of course! but I do hate the things themselves.  Babies suck for nourishment as well as for comfort, and it seems to me to be such a shame to misunderstand the importance of the human on the other end of the nipple.  I don’t want to “plug” my children when they need attention or communication or nurturing.  I want to respond to them with humanity, life, relationship.  I have never had a pacifier in the house, and I have been lucky to never have had any problems soothing my children perfectly well, without fake plastic body parts.  I can’t help but make a connection between the dependencies so many of us have on external objects, and items for self-soothing, at all ages, and the unfortunate prevalence of plonking a pacifier in our babies’ mouths when they express need.
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Breast-pump:  I have never had one.  During a nasty bout of mastitis, I did actually rent a breast pump, tried it for about 3 minutes, found it totally useless and unappealing, and that was that.  I have always personally found that if necessary because of engorgement, hand-expressing milk has been much more effective.  And, it’s free, self-directed, and doesn’t involve being hooked up to a plastic contraption.  Lots of women find breast-pumps useful, and in some cases, I’m sure they are.  It’s just not a piece of equipment that I would assume to require, simply because you’re embarking on motherhood.  We have everything we need.
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Playpen:  I wouldn’t even consider using a playpen.  I don’t like the idea of caging animals, and I won’t do similar with my kids.  Most children will tolerate about 5 minutes in a playpen before they start to scream, and we know that children learn, grown and develop while interacting in a complex way with people and their environment.  Playpens are useful for restricting the movement of children.  I don’t ever want to do that. And I think we do our children a disservice to, in the name of safety, restrict their movements and their ability to explore.  Children learn boundaries when they are confronted with challenging situations.  I have never had a playpen, and never will.
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High Chair:  I actually do have a high-chair, but I don’t think it is in any way necessary—and despite owning one, our little ones eat from our laps for the most part, when they start to taste food.  Again, I love the way parenting can be such a simple process of gradually allowing our children to extend out into the world from our arms, rather than using devices to distance us from our kids—possibly before they are ready.  We do use the high-chair occasionally, but I am mindful of the fact that I am using it when I need to put the kid somewhere other than with me!  There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s not my first choice, or my ideal (yes, even though sometimes I do it).  I’d rather they go from the breast, to in-arms, to sitting at the table on a chair, regulating their own behaviour as modelled by the adults around them.
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Stroller:  I have a single, fold-up umbrella stroller that I have used maybe 4 or 5 times, over the course of having 5 children. Lots of people use strollers and like them, but it’s not something I would buy while pregnant—you may or may not find that you use it.  For me, the carrier is a much easier arrangement—I carry my kids until they walk.  Once my children are walking, they walk.  I see no need to push them around when they are able to propel themselves. Yes, it’s true.  It’s slow-going, holding a 2-year old’s hand.  But it’s pretty wonderful to not mind being slow, and to allow our kids to explore, use their bodies, be in the world.  I like the fact that my children have endurance, and no expectation of having anyone wheel them around.  For the most part, unless there is an issue with their legs, they can walk.  I did make the mistake of buying a larger pram-type stroller.  Several years later, I am trying to sell it, and it has never been used—not even once.  And if we’re doing a big shop at the grocery store, I just pile them all in the cart.  Fun!
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Sippy Cup:  I have never used a sippy cup with my kids.  They breastfeed during their infancy, then they start to drink water from a normal cup with our help, and then they figure out how to hold the cup without spilling it (after spilling it hundreds of times).  I don’t really want my children wandering around while they’re drinking anyway, so simply not having a device that makes that convenient, is a good thing, for us.  I also find that in general, allowing them to experience complexity, and, in a way, reality, helps them to develop the dexterity that they will need to get along.  I do, of course, provide them with small cups that fit their hands.  And although my children don’t drink juice (just water), I am concerned that a lot of parents who *do* provide juice for their children, and who do so in a sippy cup, are perhaps exposing their kids to even a higher risk of tooth decay, because the cup can allow the juice to sit on the teeth for a longer period of time.
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Baby Gate: I have never used a baby-gate, or any kind of barriers to my children’s mobility or exploration at any age—and I suppose one could say that we have a very “dangerous” house.  Lots of stairs, and at the church, our living space is on a stage, 4 feet off the ground, with no barrier.  Am I crazy?  Well, I don’t really think so—the decision to keep things dangerous is an entirely conscious one.  And in fact, none of my 5 children have ever sustained a serious fall, no concussions, no injuries, no broken bones—not ever (touch wood).  I certainly don’t *want* them to fall, and when they do (and they do, occasionally), I am of course, sorry to see this happen.  But I profoundly believe that one of the main *reasons* why they have not ever seriously hurt themselves, is because we have given them complete freedom to explore their environment without restriction—and that when children *are* restricted, they tend to be less coordinated, less intuitive, less in-touch with the boundaries of both their own bodies and their environment.  When we are out and about in public, my children’s confidence, coordination, and curiosity is often mistaken for undue risk-taking—I get a lot of dirty looks from other parents who seem to think that I am being irresponsible when I let my 2-year old climb to the top of the play structure.  But I am very happy in my decision to respect the boundaries they create for themselves, when it comes to they physical being.  Manners are another story, and when we’re at another person’s home, of course, we don’t monkey around.  But for the most part, my kids are very embodied, and I think this is a great thing.
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Toys:  Like most families, we have a pile of toys—and especially over this past Christmas, Lego has become a family-wide obsession (Lee’s former passion for lego has likewise been rekindled).  However, I am always going through the toys and getting rid of them whenever possible.  I hate the clutter of crappy toys, and frankly, the kids ignore 90% of it.  And especially when they’re babies, toys are totally unnecessary!  Open the kitchen cupboard, and take out the wooden spoons, the pots and pans, a big rubber elastic band, lids and containers, etc.  It is lovely to have a few simple, beautifully-made wooden toys—these will usually last for several generations, and things like building blocks are great for older kids.  But the plastic stuff, and especially the toys “designed” for baby, or baby-intelligence? It’s marketing.  The most effective way to “develop” our children’s intelligence, is to be with them, to look at them, to talk to them, to engage with them, to play with them.  Toys aren’t required.  During the teething stage, plain, untreated pieces of wood, strung onto a piece of unbleached cotton string are great, or pieces of cloth tied together.  A simple, beautifully made cloth doll is lovely to have for a little one, and can be a keepsake forever.  I find that with my own kids, when we simplify the toy shelf, everyone relaxes a little more.

Plastic Anything:  With very few exceptions (see below), I have tried to avoid all plastics, with all of my children.  I try to steer clear of it when it comes to food packaging (by avoiding packaged foods, for the most part), and I have tried my best to avoid plastic toys. We don’t have any plastic dishes in our home—just non-toxic pottery (www.burntnormalpottery.com!) and stainless steel.  No plastic is safe.  The marketing around BPA-free items is just that: all plastics contain synthetic substances which wreak havoc on our endocrine systems.  In many cases, plastics that are marketed as BPA-free contain chemicals that are much more harmful that BPA itself.  Avoid all plastics if you possibly can.

Commercial Diaper-Creams: In all honesty, none of my children have ever experienced diaper-rash.  If you allow your children’s skin access to open-air as much as possible, and then when they are diapered, you change them at the very first moment they have peed or pooped, you will likely find that diaper rash is hardly ever an issue.  Making your own skin salve is very simple, and there are many great recipes available online.  And, not wanting to miss a chance for shameless self-promotion, I happen to have a beautiful little holistic skin-care company, and I make a gorgeous, 100% natural herbal healing balm, so feel free to check that out at www.florafauna.ca, if you don’t have time to whip up your own.  But by all means, stay away from commercial “baby” skin products!

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Essentials for Baby, Along with some Things I Simply Love:
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Sheepskin:  It may sound strange, but one of the items that I am happiest to have invested in, for my babies, is a sheepskin for each of them.  I use them as changing pads, and sleeping pads, and there seems to be lots of evidence (and personal experience) to show that babies who sleep and play on sheepskins are very contented and comfortable.  Wool is naturally soothing and adapts to the temperature (making it suitable for both cold and warm temperatures).  We also have sheepskin car-seat liners which are fantastic for long trips.  Sheepskins last forever, and even our older kids love to cuddle up on theirs.  Please be careful, because many tanning companies use heavy metals and nasty dyes in their products.  I have only found one company that tans their sheepskins in a way that I feel safe to use with baby, using natural mimosa.  Find them here:   http://www.kaisersheepskin.com/apps/webstore/products/show/2693051
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Berkey Water Filter:  Water is, truly, the stuff of life.  I have researched water quality quite a bit, and the best water filtration system I have found is the berkey filter.  These are stainless-steel stand-alone units.  The filtrations system will last for several years before replacement is necessary, and these can be used with tap water as well as running water (in the case of emergency).  Throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding, our children are absorbing the toxins that enter our own bodies, and I do think that clean water is a true essential.  This would be a great item to ask family members to get together to buy for a new family. In Canada, Berkey filters can be found at www.consciouswater.ca.
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Car-Seat:  By all accounts, and according to the law, car seats are a necessity, if you’re going to be using a vehicle. I have never cared about what car-seat I use with my kids, and I have always received ours handed-down, or bought used.  The way I see it, traveling by vehicle in this crazy world is a massive, terrible risk no matter what kind of plastic car seat we have.  I don’t ever use the car-seats with the snap-in-and out basket seats for baby, because I don’t want my infants sleeping in the car-seat, or being carried like a shopping basket, and I also find them very awkward and difficult to carry around– but for many parents this works well. For newborn infant seats in this basket-style, I have heard that a car-seat called the “First Years Via” is the lightest on the market at 8.4 lbs, which sounds pretty good.  For a stationary seat, I have heard that the Diono brand has excellent safety ratings, and is also narrow, and thus appropriate for small cars—although it seems to be very expensive.  Fundamentally, any car-seat on the market has had to pass safety approval tests, and I am not convinced (at all) that there is a marked difference in terms of real safety, between any of them.
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Wrap-style carrier:  I love the stretchy wrap-style carriers for my newborns.  Until about 3 months of age, this is my favourite way of carrying baby.  They are held close, with easy access to my breasts, and I just go about my business, without any fuss.  The front-carry tie is easy to master, and I find these wraps the most comfortable.  Super-easy to make oneself if you buy a large swathe of cotton fabric with a touch of lycra (maybe 2% or so).  But they are also easily purchased and not too huge an investment from the company Sleepy Wrap.  In Canada, you can find these online at www.bynature.ca.
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Ergo:  The hype is absolutely warranted.  I bought a second Ergo after my first wore out after 4 children.   I have used the ergo exclusively from 4 months onward, up until even 2.5 years of age.  The ergo is the only carrier that doesn’t bother my back, and I find I can carry the little ones throughout the entire day using this carrier.  For me, all others have paled in comparison.  For many mums, the ring sling is a great choice, but I have never been able to use one for more than a few minutes without experiencing pain.  And while it is a bit of an investment, I find it totally worth it: I love *love* the Ergo.  I have also bought my Ergo through www.bynature.ca, and they offer free shipping throughout Canada.
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Cloth Diapers:  My approach to elimination involves both an EC approach, as well as cloth-diapering, for practicality, along with what is, I suppose, considered to be “early” toilet-learning.  We have the potty out for the little one by the time they are about 10 months.  The learning process is gradual, so that by the time my kids turn 2, they are reliably using the toilet both day and night, without a problem.  When my babies are infants, they experience *lots* of diaper-free time, as much as possible.  We have hardwood floors, so cleanup is a non-issue.  When we do diaper, while out and about, I use, for the most part, a simple cloth diapering system: prefolds or flat diapers (hunks of cloth, basically), sometimes a thicker liner, and wool covers.  My favourite wool covers are the aristocrats—they really work well to protect leaking, although as soon as my kids pee or poop, their diaper is changed or removed.  I also love the snappi as an alternative to pins.  I have used the same aristocrat diaper covers for 5 babies in a row—I recommend buying 3 of each size.  They are expensive, but they will last for several children.  I find them very easy to care for with Eucalan wool-wash, (hand-washing them takes about 4 minutes) but it’s nice to have 3 on rotation, as they dry very slowly.  In a pinch, I do occasionally use disposable diapers, but I try to only ever buy the non-toxic, more-natural brands.  They’re still not great, but the chemicals used in the conventional brands are frighteningly toxic, and I don’t want them anywhere near my kids’ skin.
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Kaboost Chair Booster:  This kind of goes along with the high-chair thing.  Far more than the high-chair, we have used and loved the Kaboost chair booster.  This notable exception to my attempts at being plastic-free is a device that fits on to the *bottom* of a chair, to raise it up so that children can sit at, reach, and participate at the family table.  Rather than restrict the kids to a high-chair, it’s so nice for them to simply sit on the chairs and take part.  I ordered ours from amazon.ca.
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Potty:  We use a plastic Baby Bjorn brand potty, and it has withstood all 5 kids.  I would love to have a wooden-and-stainless potty—this one is gorgeous: https://organicgrace.com/wood-potty , but there is something to be said about the portability of the plastic ones.  Our bathroom is in an awkward place, and we don’t always make it.  Having a couple of potties has been great, and has definitely helped our kids to catch on to the idea of peeing and pooping in a particular spot.  Check in with your local woodworker to have a beautiful wooden one, like the one above, made.
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Natural Dishes and Food-Storage Containers:  http://www.burntnormalpottery.com/products/enso-childrens-table-set  Lee and I are potters, so luckily we have lots of non-toxic dishes we have made ourselves.  Please, support your local potters!  It really is worthwhile investing in handmade pottery vs. factory-made stuff.  In these small ways, and in appreciating uniqueness, difference, imperfection, we connect with others, and ourselves. (PS: check out our gorgeous children’s table set!  http://www.burntnormalpottery.com/products/enso-childrens-table-set).  Otherwise, I *love* the company www.lifewithoutplastic.com.  Apart from the mason jar (which is almost-perfection in and of itself), Lifewithoutplastic.com has the best selection of quality food-storage containers, and non-plastic everyday items.  LWP would be a great company to start a baby-registry with!
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Books: Books are a hugely important part of our lives.  The kids have a massive selection of books, we do a weekly (at least) visit to the library, and while a manual is not required for being a parent, certain books can offer insight and guidance for new parents:  My top 3 parenting books would have to be: “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves” by Naomi Aldort, “Diaper-Free!” by Ingrid Bauer (*not* just for those parents who are leaning towards EC, but full of fantastic information for all parents who are wanting to walk a natural path) and “Baby Knows Best” by Deborah Carlisle Solomon, a newer book that I was curious but skeptical about…turns out I love it, and really feel an affinity to many of the concepts therein.
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King-Sized Non-Toxic Mattress:  I mentioned above that mattresses are most often *extremely* toxic.  Considering that we spend almost half our lives in bed, it is really important, I think, to make wise choices when it comes to sleep setup.  And when families are co-sleeping, a king-sized mattress is perfection. There are quite a few companies that specialize in 100% natural mattresses.  My own preference is to have as few metals (conductors) near or around me when I sleep, so I want to avoid mattresses with metal springs, or metal bed-frames.  Natural rubber can be a good choice, but we have just invested in a new mattress (for the first time!) and we have chosen a king-sized 100% cotton (no foam) futon.  We bought ours from www.eastwestfutons.com, and we made a custom order of a foam-less cotton futon.  After much research we decided to go with an all-conventional-cotton futon, instead of the certified organic cotton, due to cost—in all, it was extremely reasonable, especially considering that a natural mattress will often run upwards of $2000, which we wanted to avoid.

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There you have it!  That’s my list–any unexpected items that you loved having for your baby?  Or anything you thought you would need, but didn’t?  I’d love to hear from you.

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(PS: I did mention  some specific products and companies in this post–I have absolutely no affiliation with any of these whatsoever, except for my little Amazon shop to the right).