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I am not “anti-vaccination”.  I am anti-authoritarian, anti-fascist, pro-choice, and in favour of human rights.

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Over the last couple of weeks, the atmosphere around vaccination, thanks to the recent measles “outbreaks” in the US and Canada, has reached insane proportions.  Social and mainstream media is clogged with vicious commentary, threats, admonishments, and calls to have “anti-vaxxers” (although I have never encountered anyone who is calling for restricting access to vaccines for those who want them) jailed, killed, sent to live on desert islands, prosecuted, or denied access to their children.  I have been told personally that my views on vaccination make me an unfit parent.  I have been told that I am a murderer.  And I have encountered both directly and indirectly, the twisted and slippery notion that not only am I intensely stupid, but that I and the other parents who choose choose to keep their children’s immune systems intact, are exemplifying the very worst of white privilege.

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I am very aware of the many layers and levels of privilege that I possess as a wealthy, western, middle-class, educated, intelligent, able, articulate white person.  I don’t really feel the need to defend these privileges, or to claim that I feel guilty on account of them, because I can’t extricate my “self” from my socialization or my advantages (however much I might want to).  I will say though, that I am committed to analyzing and examining my privilege in an effort to remain aware, compassionate and poised to ally as much as I can with those who are marginalized.   And I will continue to unpack these questions and issues for the rest of my life.

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But as a parent, I will also continue to actively and consciously bring my privileges to bear on every decision I make—both consciously and unconsciously.  And so will you.  I don’t suspend or hobble my intelligence or my education when it comes to teaching my kids, nor am I interested in sublimating the potential for my children to also become educated or successful in the name of equality.  I don’t purchase poor-quality food for my children so that they will remain nutritionally on-par with other less fortunate kids.  Like every other parent, I hustle to give my children *every* advantage that I can, so that they will thrive, but also, so they might one day be in a position to help others, because I do care about and value my community.

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My many privileges put me and my kids in a unique position when it comes to vaccination, to be sure.  Because I am wealthy, intelligent, resourceful, articulate, middle-class, geographically fortunate and so on, I am able to homeschool my kids.  I am able to buy healthy food, I have access to alternative treatment methods if they do become sick, and despite the many instances I have experienced of harassment from medical professionals over my choices, (leading me to seek, if at all possible, alternatives to the allopathic system) I recognize that as a privileged person, these experiences pale compared to what a person of colour would have to contend with in a similar situation.  For many reasons, my children probably do have a lower likelihood of contracting the measles than other kids—my privilege has allowed me to breastfeed them all, thereby accruing to them the best foundation for natural immunity.  And if one of my kids *did* contract the measles, they probably have a higher likelihood of fighting the disease effectively, because of the many resources and privileges I have at my disposal in regards to treating and caring for them.  I am also privileged in my ability to access, read and interpret studies on the safety and efficacy of vaccines.  My decision not to vaccinate is not catalyzed by my overriding sense of privilege.  My decision not to vaccinate is not an expression of my privilege.  Rather, my privilege has granted me the tools to make an informed decision.  And this makes people really angry.

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The notion that a parent who chooses not to vaccinate their child is grinding their boot into the faces of those selfless and altruistic families who happily sacrifice their own kids for the good of the herd is preposterous.  We have not chosen to decline vaccination because we feel protected by those who do vaccinate.  For the most part, we question the validity of all aspects of vaccines: their safety, their effectiveness, the legitimacy and veracity of the herd immunity theory, and the validity, fundamentally, of the ability of any substance injected subcutaneously to create a truly effective physiological immune response.  The rage that vaccinating parents throw in the direction of those who do not vaccinate, is confusing: if you feel angry because you think I’m taking advantage of your obedience, enacted through the risk you took in vaccinating your child (because of course, vaccines *do* involve risk), then I have a little secret:  You too can decline vaccination.  But perhaps that wouldn’t be satisfactory either?  Because what it comes down to, for many parents, I believe, is that the issue is approached as the choice between two fear-based perspectives: the fear of vaccines vs. the fear of illness.  Those who don’t vaccinate are characterized as gullible, stupid, entitled, and in possession of delusional fantasies that their children are somehow stronger, better, and more pure (in their unvaccinated state) than other people.  It seems very difficult for vaccine authoritarians to comprehend that we in fact do understand the risks of disease and sickness.  Those risks are ever-present in spite of vaccines, and it is our conviction that yes, our kids are better equipped to confront those diseases, and possibly thrive, with intact immune systems. But we also know that the world *is* risk: illness, disease, contamination and death *are inextricable from life on earth*.

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The white privilege argument is a manipulative, obfuscatory conceit that lumps the disenfranchised, the person of colour and the immuno-compromised into one group, as supposedly victimized by the narcissistic white mother who values her own child above all others.  It is a simplistic narrative, and condescending to all, but especially to the marginalized in that equation.  Further, there seems to be little acknowledgement that the choice not to vaccinate accrues no status or advantage, and that in declining vaccines, and especially in publicly admitting so, puts us at considerable risk of stigma, abuse and discrimination and– If the social media zeitgeist is in any way predictive—hate crimes and forced medical procedures.

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I do feel much compassion for parents of immuno-compromised children.  They are at risk from anyone with the common cold, or flu.  Bacteria puts them at risk, public washrooms put them at risk.  All the diseases that have yet to be named and classified put them at risk.  Food and food-borne illnesses put them at risk.  They are at risk from people who have been recently vaccinated.  The world can never be made safe for children or adults who are immuno-compromised.  And the world can never be made safe for my own children, whether or not they happen to be healthy at the moment.  Life is not fair.

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I know several families personally, with immuno-compromised children.  Signs of one good friend’s son’s immune-deficiency began immediately after he was vaccinated—prior to vaccination, he was healthy.  It is impossible to know whether or not my own healthy children might be one of those who would react negatively to vaccines, or if their HARDY immune systems might *become* compromised due to vaccines.  I don’t believe doctors or scientists are privy to the full scope of possible outcomes, side effects, or long-term implications of vaccination.  I don’t believe that most parents whose children experience adverse reactions immediately or some time after vaccination are acknowledged, believed, treated, or included in the stats on vaccine safety.

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I have been researching vaccines for the past fifteen years.  And yet, the vaccine proponents shout,  You *still* insist on spewing lies, falsehoods and misinformation! Fair enough.  While I am sincerely acting in good faith, and while I sincerely believe I am making the most reasonable, most scientific, and most healthy choice for my kids, and the world, I will accept the possibility that I am entirely wrong. Because to be honest, I actually have no interest in the vaccine “debate”.

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My deep concern is that there exists even a *single* person who feels that under *any* circumstances, another person should be forced to consume, inhale, inject *anything* for *any reason*—even if that reason is the supposed safety of another individual.  That there would be any circumstance under which such a stricture could be deemed acceptable by any person, by any standard of human right, is a fascist nightmare.  We must retain ownership over our own bodies, even if another person or group feels they have a stake in how that body is fed, clothed or medicated.  We cannot eliminate the risks involved with being alive.