Last night was another evening of strong birth sensations.  I had spent the day alone in Fredericton, finally buying groceries, and light fixtures, and going a little overboard in my attempts to have everything ready, which isn’t even remotely a possibility…and then in line at the grocery store, I started to feel spacey, and hurried back to Queenstown.

I got home to unabashed adoration from all three kids, a torrent of hugs and kisses, and “Is the baby coming now? We love the baby!!! We love you baby!!!” as I huffed and puffed.  I charged around, cleaning ineffectually, and then decided that, if nothing else, we needed a table to be liberated to eat on, so Lee and I moved some of the boxes that are clogging the front living room, and pulled out the oval table that will eventually go upstairs in my office (which, for now, is being kept empty because it will be my birth room) and put it into our dining room,  and it works for now.  But when things slowed down, we decided that Lee and Horus should go back to Florenceville, to finish a pottery order that is pressing, and to bring back some more of the boxes that remain.  They left after dark, and I was a little bit concerned that baby would be coming, but I went to sleep with Felix and Treva, and woke up this morning, still pregnant.

After breakfast, with Felix and Treva’s help, I painted some window frames, and then primed the bathroom floor, and then we went with the dogs down to the river. Unusually, there was a man there, fishing.  He was very friendly and Treva talked his ear off while Felix worked with the  tractor which he had insisted on dragging down with us, collecting rocks, and filling the digger with gravel and moving things around.  Treva found a dead fish too, and examined it carefully, named it Ricky, carried it around for a while, and then eventually threw him back into the water (after I explained that no, it’s really not a good idea to eat fish that are found already dead).  The sun was glorious, and I sat and read some poetry from the collected works of Joanne Kyger, that easygoing master of the now who has been one of my very favourite poets since I was 13.

In the past 3 weeks, Felix has suddenly started talking outright and now says everything, all the time, in the sweetest, most charming little way (that would be difficult for someone not in our family to quite grasp, yet).  He is my latest talker, but is just as vociferous and understood as any of them were, or are, and has always been fully participatory in all the expressions of opinion and preference that go on around here.

We are all looking forward to this baby.  I remember coming down to the river the morning before Felix was born, and taking some photos with Treva and Horus.  It is such a wonderful gift for these kids to be included in the births of their siblings.  Treva remembers Felix’s birth so fondly, and is *over the moon* at the prospect of this new baby’s birth.  I am so proud and moved by the fact that my daughter and sons are growing up loving birth, trusting birth, and knowing the gritty, gorgeous joy of it. Horus too, is pretty thrilled, and Felix gets it all, kissing the baby in my big belly and cuddling it with frequency.

I’ll be in Moncton tonight for Birth Talk…can’t wait to hear more of V.’s story, of giving birth unexpectedly at a friend’s house.  That’s not exactly what I’m hoping for in this case, but I’ll have my cameras with me 🙂