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Fear often manifests in the way we allow ourselves to be convinced that there is something wrong with our babies when there really isn’t– and this can sometimes be a very tricky one to discern.
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When it comes to my own life and my own pregnancies, I have, over the years, become relatively comfortable with the inherent uncertainty of life, and also in my body’s ability to grow healthy babies.
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And yet, I still occasionally worry about my babies’ well-being prior to birth–because like every mother, I care deeply, and I’m totally invested in their health and safety!
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Often though, the presence of fear arises in subtle and insidious ways–ways that serve to undermine our best intentions: the urge to just pop into the hospital and get a little ultrasound. To be “on the safe side”. Or maybe the temptation to register with the hospital on the off-chance you have to transfer, you know, introduce yourself to the staff, just in case…
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That’s harmless, right? Or, we convince ourselves that these sorts of actions are in fact cautious. Or prudent.
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But what are you really planning for? To what goal are you directing your energy? And where is the evidence that such an approach is either necessary, or productive?
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When you wake up in the morning and it’s time to go to work, do you call the ambulance to let them know that you might be getting into a car accident? I hope not.
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Airing our anxieties on facebook, for family and friends to weigh in on, is another fantastic way to keep our focus on fear and doubt, and depletes the energy that we need in order to manifest our birthing-in-power. Sharing your fears indiscriminately on social media is the very best way to get your great aunt calling you with horror stories, or your cousin texting you about the inevitability of her c-section. This chips away at our confidence, and rocks our equilibrium, at a time when we need to be actively cultivating confidence and groundedness to face the challenge ahead.
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It can be easy to misinterpret the stirring up of drama within ourselves and in public, for the expression of a deep intuitive knowing that something is wrong. But how to differentiate between the two? When we run off to the hospital for that ultrasound in the absence of a real problem, this can lead to some major meddling: The doctor decides your baby is “low in fluids” (despite ultrasound being a very poor indicator of such a situation) and the cascade of interventions begins.
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How do we become aware of, and to work on recognizing the urge within ourselves to make mischief, as opposed to authentic intuition?
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Stay tuned for Part 3 of “How to Wreck Your Own Birth” coming up. And if you’re interested in staying in the loop regarding my upcoming book, “The Freebirth Manifesto: Wild Pregnancy, Ecstatic Birth”, join my list here.
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I also have a new private Facebook Group, all about birth, for women who are hungry for deep, soulful, radical and sometimes painful truths about childbirth in general, and free birth in particular. It’s called “Bauhauswife [Free]Birth”. Feel free to request to join!