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As bombastic and cult-addled as this may sound, (I’ve been konverted) I really do feel that my life has been changed by reading Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying”. I initially picked the book up in hopes that it would give me a new amazing strategy for organizing or containing all the stuff I have—because I have always stringently avoided encountering any organizational philosophy that suggests getting rid of things! But unlike other (punitive) organizing or decluttering methods, konmari gives one permission to love our things, and even celebrates the importance of objects and their significance to our lives.
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I have found the process of going through all of my junk and asking myself whether or not an object sparks joy, to be very profound. Because I come from a family of collectors, I have gone through waves of feeling extremely guilty, as I pare down—almost as though I am betraying my family heritage, tradition, my dna. But I’m also very relieved. I have held on to so much for such bizarre reasons, and the question of Joy is both liberating and poignant. I have realized that my quantities of interesting or potentially useful but mostly inert stuff has been obscuring my joy for some time.
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Although the concepts in the book are very simple, I do urge everyone to read it in its entirety, and to methodically follow the steps. Early on in my “tidying festival”, I looked at my shelf full of cookbooks and decided, case closed, that they all sparked joy—and the prospect of discarding any of them gave me anxiety. Then I forced myself to calm down and remove every book from the shelf, and to handle each one, and *experience* the connection (or lack thereof) I felt for each…and I quickly halved the shelf, with an unfamiliar sense of levity.
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I have also realized that I haven’t really had a strong foundation in specific methods of cleaning and tidying. When I first read the chapters on folding, I was totally dismissive—folding can’t be that important. Now I’m completely addicted to precisely and methodically folding my clothes, sock and underwear included, and I’m happily brainwashing my kids—and they love it. Since introducing them to Konmari, they are all much more inclined to help to fold and clean their rooms.
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I have also found lots of items that were stashed and stored that *do* spark Joy: I’m so glad I found the white gown that Cosmo is wearing, above. Lee’s mother gave it to me. It had belonged to Lee’s father, and Cosmo fits it perfectly right now. It is hand-made, perhaps by Lee’s grandmother, big Treva? In any case, the delicacy of the fabric, the irregularity of the embroidery, the family connection and its history is very moving to me. And because it does, definitely, spark joy, I have decided that I will find some kind of frame, and put it on the wall, instead of leaving in a box in the attic somewhere. I’m glad I got a chance to have a little photo session with Cosmo first, though.
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A few weeks ago, I forced everyone (Lee and the kids) to sit down with me and watch the two Konmari videos that can be watched online. They are *very* quirky, sweet, charming, enthralling even, and moving. Horus, Treva and Felix were *spellbound*, and despite his initial resistance, Lee loved them too. Check them out here. And pretty much all I do on Facebook now is obsessively follow the “Konmari Adventures” page.
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It’s all very embarrassing, really. That I am so fortunate and privileged to have this insane problem of too many objects. I am selling a few things, but I am also donating a significant portion to non-profits in Fredericton, which I suppose, pathetically, helps me to feel slightly less guilty.
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Have you read the Konmari book? I genuinely want to know if/how it has changed your life 😉
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THANK YOU! A side perk to reading your blog has always been that your normal mess soothed me. A validation of sorts that busy women and their mess is visual proof of a successful home. After all, if the house is untidy that MUST mean the kids are happy, right???? This has been my hinge for over a decade.
But a lingering nagging feeling deep inside me never loved my mess. Since your post and finding the facebook group, I dare say I too am konverted.
I’m still on books. But the success thus far has been huge and finally after so many attempts of getting my act together, I feel like I’ve been changed from the inside out.
Hi Mary! It’s amazing, isn’t it!? I have rationalized my mess for so many years..it’s normal! it’s comfy! it’s fine! it’s creative! …hm. Now I feel like I deserve to live in a beautiful environment, and my kids deserve to have a proper education in how to respect themselves and their living space. And it’s very interesting to me to realize that the mess is actually a huge roadblock in terms of achieving my own goals. Lots of learning to do! Loved seeing your posts on konmari adventures 🙂 I’ve had many of the same thoughts <3 You're doing great <3
Yes! Deserve, respect, roadblock! Continuing to be impressed with how this transformation is leaking into all parts of me. Light bulb moment of my 30’s haha