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Konmari Fail (First World Problems)

April 12, 2015 by Yolande 2 Comments

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Well, my house is cleaner now than it has ever been before.  (That is not saying much.  At all.  And you still can’t come over. Yet.  Ahem.)  But really, I’m getting there.  There are areas of my house that are seeing the light for the first time, and I have genuinely embraced the habit of quickly getting rid of items that no longer spark joy in my heart. Yay!

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A couple of weeks ago, though, I took out my blender to make a smoothie for the kids.  (We’ve actually been making “ice-cream” out of avocados, spinach, frozen fruit…I”ll share our recipe soon).  Anyway, I attempted to attached the top part of my blender to the bottom, and it wouldn’t fit properly!  What the heck.  We had just brought Lee home from the hospital, and I was in an especially efficient mood–really doing my very best to keep on top of all the household tasks, to be a top-notch caregiver for everyone, and to maintain an iron-grip on containing the messes that threaten the margins of my sanity (at every waking moment).  So when I realized that the darned thing wasn’t going to fit on the base, I decided there and then that the unit must be broken.  Fixable?  maybe.  But not by me.  So I popped the whole shebang into the bag I have at the door of stuff to be taken the goodwill, and the next day, on our way to karate, I took the bag and dropped it into one of the donation bins near Horus’ karate class.  Then I drove home, and took out my food processor, in order to puree the soup.

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As soon as I attempted to affix the top of the food processor to its base, I realized right away, with a terrible sense of dread, what I had done.  I had donated the blender container, and the food processor base, leaving me with a blender base, and a food -processor top.  Complicated, I know.  Complex, for sure. Stupid, definitely.

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So, without even the remotest thought for my reputation, I had a good old Facebook tantrum, which led to the crowd-sourcing of a number of opinions on whether or not it is [appropriate, advisable, crazy, ridiculous, pointless] for me to drive back and jump into the donation bin, to try to retrieve my kitchen appliances.  The verdict, online, was mostly that I should *not* go back and dumpster-dive. (Except for Amber.  Amber thought I should do it.  This is one of the reasons why I love Amber, but Amber lives on the west coast, which is where most of the people who approve of shenanigans like this end up.  Imagine the mischief and hijinks that would ensue if Amber and I had geographical access to each other? Amazing.).  But I did manage to beg my wonderful friend M. into accompanying me!  M. is, I daresay, saner and more practical than I am by a long-shot.  But she showed up, for which I will be eternally grateful!

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I made a couple of attempts to actually climb in, but M. was reluctant to humour that level of idiocy, and I think she was probably right in that I either wasn’t going to fit, or I would have broken the lid, or I wouldn’t have been able to get out.  So I did what any responsible parent in my shoes would have done, and I sent Horus in.  Horus was *amazing*!!!.  He slithered into the stinky bin, and rummaged around for all he was worth, but unfortunately, I think my bag had already been removed.  I was a little bit crushed, but in the end, getting photos of these antics made the whole thing worthwhile.  Thank you M.!

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I did call the charity, and I filled out a form, and yada yada.  But I don’t think I’ll ever see my blender/food processor again.  But that’s ok, I’m going to donate the rest, so maybe someone else will hit the thrift store jackpot.  And I got a cheap replacement set from Canadian tire anyway, so smoothies and ice cream, coming right up.

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Ah, I love this post.  The next time I start to feel overly awesome about myself, I need only to click here, for photographic evidence of my mediocrity and ridiculousness.  🙂

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Filed Under: Indie New Brunswick, Uncategorized Tagged With: konmari, marie kondo, silliness

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Comments

  1. Hayley says

    April 13, 2015 at 10:09 am

    hhhhhhhaaaaaaahahahahahahwhwha. Aah. I love this.

    Reply
  2. Madeleine says

    April 13, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Beautiful.

    Reply

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I work with smart, independent women who are sick of feeling disempowered by the myth that childbirth is a medical event from which we need to be delivered. I help mothers navigate the process of planning and manifesting their freebirth without fear. I'm also a writer and a ceramic artist. Feel free to get in touch with me at sasamat(dot)clark(at)gmail(dot)com.

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