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It is such an honour to welcome my friend and colleague Lisa LeBlanc to this space. It is becoming a bit of an open secret that New Brunswick has one of the most vital, exciting and inclusive home birth communities in Canada. In spite of, or because of the fact that regulated midwifery has yet to be implemented in the province? Many would argue the latter, but for quite a few of us, that lesson was learned in a roundabout fashion. Lisa writes so eloquently here about her journey to “divine motherhood and being with woman”, and her written voice reflects the same gentle, steady and lovingly fierce manner she projects in person.
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If you live in New Brunswick and you are planning a birth, or if you are interested in birth work, I highly recommend that you check out Lisa’s wonderful monthly “Village Prenatal” gatherings–a great opportunity to learn about birth, and to glean insight from Lisa and other knowledgeable women. For more information, check out the “Birth Talk Moncton” Facebook group.
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In Lisa’s words:
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I’ve been wanting to write a little bit about how I got involved in the birth community and why I am happy that government funded midwifery was not available at the time when *that* was all that I wished for.
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As a young woman I knew that I wanted to birth my babies at home and breastfeed, I don’t know exactly where these ideas came from except that it just felt like the natural and right choice for me to make (and also I think that I had at least one ancestor who was quite possibly persecuted in England for practicing midwifery. What?! it’s entirely possible:) Anyways, I didn’t know anyone who had done either of these things, I just assumed that women still had homebirths because in my mind there just wasn’t any reason not to.
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So very soon after discovering that I was pregnant I got out the phone book and turned to the “m” section prepared to have my pick of possibly dozens of midwives. I couldn’t believe it! No midwives listed. Next I checked the “b” section because surely there was a birth-center in Moncton…nope!
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I was panicked and felt so desperate, what was I going to do?! It’s worth saying that all this took place pre-computer days…women today probably don’t realize how easy they have it when looking for birth information.
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It turns out that my mother in-law knew a woman in Moncton who had had a baby or two at home back in the 80’s…she gave her a call and although I don’t think she got any real leads on a midwife I did get to borrow an old copy of LLL’s Womanly Art of Breastfeeding! I’m like “Who the heck is La Leche League??” It didn’t matter really, all I knew was that it talked about breastfeeding and I was hungry for information. Yes! I didn’t know it at the time but everything was falling into place.
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At this time Phil, my husband, was working at the Holiday Inn and completely out of character, he grabbed a newspaper on his way home from work….we never buy newspapers and what’s even more rare, I read it. I couldn’t believe my luck! There was an advertisement for a gathering, it was titled something like “The first annual celebration of the midwife” right here in Moncton! I could hear angels singing aaahhhh:) I was only about 2 months pregnant at this time and felt so optimistic that everything was going to work out for me.
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As it turns out, this gathering was a true turning point in my life. I witnessed toddlers breastfeeding! Walking, talking children pulling up their mother’s tops and nursing, my mind was blown! How come nobody ever told me this?! A woman could lactate beyond the infant age and I’m only finding out about this at the age of 24, how embarrassing! Besides *that* big news, I also got to meet a few extraordinary women. Some were sharing their birth stories with us and others were midwives.
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One women even offered to “be there for me” if I wanted to have a homebirth and needed some support. I thought she was very generous and kind to offer that bc we only knew each other for all of 5 minutes but also I was thinking “Who is this crazy lady who thinks she can help me have a baby, she’s not even a midwife.” (Isn’t it so awesome how our opinions can change so drastically with a little life experience?)
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I remember introducing myself to the woman who I end up hiring to be my midwife. I told her I was newly pregnant and that I wanted to have a homebirth, she gave me a hug and we exchanged our contact information. I don’t remember what she said to me but I do remember feeling good about her and I really hoped that she would call me soon.
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To shorten up what could become a long story, she did call me when I was between 18-20 weeks pregnant and she came to our apartment to discuss the possibility of having a homebirth with her and another midwife. One of my concerns was that it would be a huge financial stress for us to pay for a homebirth and was it worth it…? We were young, just starting out, I was only working part-time and we wanted to buy our first home…but of course the answer was YES!! It would be worth every single penny! If we could not save enough money we would use our credit card. I thought that they deserved so much more than what they asked for, they spent so many hours at our house, not only sharing their knowledge but their own selves too. Not to mention the weeks of being on call 24/7 over the holidays…I had the baby on December 29th.
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(Above: Lisa welcomes her beautiful daughter.)
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So that is my introduction into the world of homebirths. A little while after having my first baby, I became active in the newly formed NB Midwives Association…I was the treasurer actually…and our goal was to bring registered midwives into the province so that more women could have the option to birth at home and not have to pay for it out of pocket.
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At this time in my life birthing with a university trained midwife present (she was obviously not registered in NB or anywhere in Canada) was the only option for me…this was *my* comfort level and I could not fathom ever wanting to do it any other way. In fact I didn’t understand why anyone would not want this for their homebirth. Needless to say that my self confidence and my faith in nature’s birthing process had not yet ripened. Also, I was very “green” and naive. I didn’t realize that insurance companies and government policies could have direct influence on the way registered midwives practice and often it’s not in the best interest of the motherbaby…. sometimes going against evidence based research and/or the woman’s own wishes.
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My realizations did not happen over night, in fact I went on to hire more university trained midwives when I had baby #2 and #3 even though I knew at this time that I had other options, but my journey had not taken me to that place…yet…but I could feel it coming. I say this because like many women I would relive my births over and over again in my head, going over all the fine details and what I was realizing was that my midwives had done and said some possibly very dangerous things to me and my babies (it is more fair to say that I allowed them to do it to us)–not maliciously of course, they were always acting out of a place of love and good intentions but they had been taught to do unsafe practices.
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Honestly if I had allowed myself to follow my instincts earlier I would of had my third baby with a traditional birth attendant and not the midwife that I did hire. I had had a miscarriage before this pregnancy and although my head knew it happened bc it was not a healthy baby, my heart and ego were hurt and my confidence in my body slumped. So I let fear make my decision and I chose the midwife who I knew would be very clinical and overly cautious, to no fault of her own, she was providing me with the type of care that she thought was best.
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When I became pregnant with my fourth child I knew that i wanted a different experience than before. I felt like I wanted to have a family birth this time maybe with a friend to film and take pictures but no official midwife would be invited. I loved this idea and I didn’t have any reservations at all. Phil had always been 100% supportive of all my birthing decisions thus far and he did not completely protest my current plans either, he just simply said that he would prefer if we asked a traditional birth attendant to be present but not to do all the cervical checks, doppler usage and managing that I wanted to avoid. After taking his comment into consideration I realized that I too wanted to have an experienced and traditional holistic attendant and I always loved the idea of women coming together to hold space during the birthing process. So in the end I did hire a birth attendant, but as it would turn out she didn’t make it on time for the actual birth. I also invited my good friend to film and take pictures and my mother to care for the other kids. Auria’s birth was by far my most powerful, gentle and ecstatic birthing experience.
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If New Brunswick had implemented government funded midwifery when I was pregnant over thirteen years ago I would of never had the opportunity to meet so many wonderful, inspiring women. It is not likely that I would of grown as much as I have I confidence or wisdom, because maybe I would not of taken as much responsibility for my choices. I would not have so much appreciation for the midwives who did serve me. They went against the grain, possibly putting themselves in trouble with the law, I am grateful for their courage.
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I am very thankful for the midwife who asked me to work with her, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was like all at once I realized my dreams were coming true even though up until that moment I never would of imagined that I could do *that*! I felt dizzy, could I of heard right?! She asked if I wanted to apprentice with her. My thought was “I only have one baby of my own and she thinks I could assist other women…WOW!” That would not of happened if she was working for the government. Although we only worked together for a short while it sure did plant the seeds in my mind that it was possible for me to do.
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And that is what happened… friends and family began to ask me to be with them while they birthed, some in hospital but most at home. The opportunities were few and far between but that was perfect for me as a woman with young kids. I have made a commitment to continuously learn and unlearn all that I think I know about women, birth, babies and breastfeeding.
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It has been an ever evolving path full of highs and lows…laughter and tears, shame and lessons, friendships and hardships. I admit that it is a very organic way to learn about serving women but it feels so right and natural.
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I think women should have access to all different birthing options but not at the expense of another’s choices. That is the biggest downfall I see with having registered midwives in NB or as it stands in NB since 2012 (or somewhere near there, I don’t keep current on the political crap) a midwifery act that states only registered midwives are allowed to attend homebirths.
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We all know that women have the innate right to birth their babies wherever they choose but to place restrictions on who she may invite *is* a violation of her human rights.
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But that is not what my story is about. What I hope to accomplish by sharing my story is to inspire other women to pursue their ideal birth. The birth that will make them feel like a goddess, I want women to create a birth story that they will want to shout from the mountain tops, the one that feels right for them despite having what they perceive as being an obstacle, be it lack of support, money, or just plain practicalities.
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I also want to spread the word that birthing babies is a womanly affair, it’s our “business” to know how it works and how to support each other. It’s our knowledge to either lose or share…so let’s share! As much as labor and birth are mysterious, they are simple too and the knowledge lies within each woman to find.
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Lisa LeBlanc