*

I recently received a message from a good friend of mine, S., a fellow a passionate advocate for physiological, mammalian birth, who also happens to be brilliant.  S’s message to me was that she had noticed a friend’s post on Facebook, about scheduling an ultrasound in early pregnancy.  In the spirit of altruism, S. had taken a good chunk of time to message her friend, delineating to her the many risks ultrasound poses, the studies that show how ultrasound changes cells, the general uselessness of the information that ultrasound provides, as well as the economic reasons as to why doctors and health professionals continue to give women misinformation on the procedure.  Considering the recent mainstream articles that have been published questioning the safety (finally) of 3d ultrasound, (however half-hearted and ineffectual) I suppose S. thought that her friend might appreciate or at least be open to receiving a new perspective on the topic, especially since the fundamental issue is the potential health risks to her unborn child.

*

As it turned out, S’s friend was not open to this information, and S. ended up feeling surprised, discouraged and frustrated.  I would also wager that S’s friend is now convinced that S. is a nut-bar. (Risks of ultrasound outweighing the benefits? Never!).

*

I have learned the hard way that it is never a good idea to volunteer information about anything to do with pregnancy or birth, or health, or pretty much anything else.  When someone approaches me to ask my opinion on a topic, I tend to direct them to a pertinent article (mine or someone else’s), and then immediately work on letting go of any hope as to what that person might do with the information I provide.  Even when I am asked to explain why I hold a certain conviction (on ultrasound or anything else), I have noticed that people generally tend to seek out, at all costs, material that confirms their preconceptions or preferences.  It is a long journey to dismantling a reflexive faith in  professionalism, accreditation, and authority.  It is very difficult for so many of us to come to terms with the notion that doctors may not have access to accurate information, truth or morality.  Then again, transferring our desire for external authority from doctors to midwives or other alternative health professionals is similarly problematic—or not, depending on your values, your goals, your hopes and dreams.  And it’s all ok.

*

My own journey has led me towards a deep faith in my own intelligence, intuition and sense of skepticism, and away from many forms of dependency on institutions and systems.  But I’m not exempt from any of the stuff that we all grapple with, and I am painfully aware that my beliefs and my worldview do not represent a position of moral superiority.  I also have come to realize that…None of it matters.  It may sound contradictory, but for me, open-heartedly embracing the total irrelevancy of our individual lives, and knowing that meaning is wholly created by human consciousness, helps me to feel connected, engaged, and optimistic, and in tune with my perception of a God-like force.  (But I digress…)

*

In any case, as advocates, it is important for us to assume that other people are intelligent, capable of making their own decisions, in possession of the right to make decisions based on false information, and also, simultaneously, probably (possibly) uninterested in receiving factual information.  Functioning within this paradoxical framework allows us to be loving, compassionate and unattached.  This approach helps to prevent burnout for those who work in any field that involves advocacy or truth-telling. We also need to respect ourselves, and our own time. Implicit in the tendency to save others, is arrogance and martyrdom, but also self-abnegation, and I have often been guilty of all of these.  They are bad for the psyche and the soul.

*

If you need to pontificate (as I clearly do) write a blog!